June 1, 2002
Negro y Blanco
My hair is a shrubbery. Bill and Todd at work have yet to define which sort, but we have decided that it is definitely not a bush.
I am feeling quite swoon-worthy tonight due to the brief chat I had with the adorable chef. He has huge, dark eyes, a cute smile, he likes Harry Potter... I need a boyfriend. But one of my express choosing.
I suck. I loathe being a Libra, most especially at times like this. When I am confronted with several attractive and eligible males, I end up having a sort of fancy for them all. Were one to up and decide that he liked me, however, I would proceed from that moment on to have eyes only for him. It's just how I work.
And I hate it.
It's really quite sick. Allow me to elaborate.
Chris' bones I could easily jump. Justin I flirt with. Brandon I pine for. Ian and I venture out of doors. This adorable chef, whose name I have yet to catch, is ever the sought object of my eyes when I am in the kitchen. That's five. Five boys that cause at least some sort of stirring in those shallow chambers I happen to call my heart.
I'm an attention-whore.
And you realize, of course, that the saddest thing of all is that I really am not near to having any of them be even half interested in me. Ian, perhaps, but I have a sinking suspicion I am wanting so desperately for there to be something where there is nothing.
I am a horrible person, and, moreover, a horrible girl.
I listened to some of No Doubt's new album today, and, needless to say, I am quite disappointed. I wish they would stop bashing their third album, 'Return of Saturn.' I love that album. 'Rock Steady' is dance music. 'Return of Saturn' was emotion with a groove.
You would've found me hunched under my computer today, had you come looking. I was reorganizing all the various cords that plug into outlets and power strips, having to deal not only with the addition of the television but also the delusional product of my mind that was to label all of the cords so I would know in the future to what they connected.
I actually finished, however. That is most certainly new, to be completing a project on the same day that I began it.
I developed three rolls of film today, and got doubles of each roll, for 19.05. I was ecstatic, to say the least. My pictures did not turn out as I thought they would. Not to imply that they ever do. At any rate, within the next few days I will be scanning them and then posting them, and you will be amazed and flabbergasted and saying, 'What the holy fuck is that?'
Trust me, you will.
My brother is an asshole. He keeps taking my very expensive Star Wars videos and watching half, and then leaving the tape in the VCR. You can damage the tape that way. And these are practically gold-plated when you take into consideration the fact that I never buy anything at full price, let alone movies or CD's.
So then, when I go to retrieve my tape (he's done this twice), he gets all pissy and demands that I give back all of his movies. I give him leave to look at my video shelf and note that I have none of his movies; he proceeds to do so. And of course the bastard claims that The Phantom Menace, Bio-Dome, and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure are his. None of them are. Dad bought The Phantom Menace for both of us, and I fucking bought the other two.
He is such a jackass.
So now he is watching my Harry Potter DVD. Let's hope I get it back. At least I don't have to worry about rewinding where those are concerned.
I'm anal retentive. You're all thinking about it. Don't worry. I could use a little criticism. I'm in the mood for a good cry.
I hope tomorrow is better than today.
I hate me.
astera at 12:49 a.m.