July 26, 2002
Goldmember
Guess whose short story is going to be published in The Best of Miami's Portfolios 2002? Mine!
Mom woke me up with the mail today, and there really couldn't have been anything else to pull me out of bed outside of that. I am more than delighted. I was hoping that something from my portfolio would be published in there, but you never expect that sort of thing. So. Hoorah.
Listening to the mix Mike made for me of Dj Skribble. I feel like I'm in a disco... only not.
Mike burned me a whole CD of Weezer videos, including 'Hashpipe', the first version of 'Island in the Sun', 'El scorcho', 'Say it Ain't So', 'The Good Life', 'Undone', 'Buddy Holly', 'Photograph', 'Keep Fishin', and an interview. He also threw on two Beastie Boys' videos, 'Sabotage' and 'Body Movin'. I told him he gets a back rub for such a lovely gift, maybe even two.
But I've officially taken one back, though this remains undisclosed to him. We went to see Austin Powers in Goldmember last night and twice he made mention of the allure of the girls in the movie. He looked at me immediately afterward to see if he could get a rise out of me, but I said nothing, only looked away, smiling softly to ward off any questions regarding the true nature of my reaction.
I realize he was fucking with me. I also realize he's going to look because, hell, Seth Green was in the movie and I wasn't not looking. I'd just rather he kept it to himself, you know?
I told him a little while later, when we were driving home, that what he'd said had kind of hurt my feelings. He pursed his lips and nodded. I said it wasn't a big deal and I wasn't distraught or anything just... a little peeved.
So he asks me why I feel this way. He admits that he was just messing with me, but at the same time he can't understand how that would hurt my feelings unless I had some sort of issues with my own appearance.
Fucking obviously.
But I didn't admit to that, and instead floundered in my inability to convey my thoughts. We sit in my parking lot and try to talk about it, but I end up saying very little and he ends up putting his foot in his mouth. We change the subject, both to save him from making a further ass of himself and to save me from getting anymore upset with him.
None of this is visible, mind you.
And I'm not really upset. It's more like, flustered that I just seem foolish. Because while Mike is right, he is also wrong. Sure, my hurt feelings may have a lot to do with the fact that I'm not really all that comfortable with my own body, but at the same time the last thing a girl wants to hear about is another girl. Even if only in jest. At least this one. You understand, don't you, girls?
I'm sighing. This is some of that Scorpio dastardly-ness coming through. I just have to keep in mind that while he may look, and, apparently, voice his thoughts, the rest of him is mine.
Excuse me while I laugh wickedly.
astera at 10:25 a.m.