September 3, 2002
Song All Alone
I wore daisies in my hair today. Two, one slipped inside each Princess Leia-esque bun. Mike bought them for me, and I wish I could say I didn't feel silly about it. But I do, because he's such a caustic bastard.
Excuse my rather unorthodox terms of endearment. His honesty is part of why I love him. He is as quick to tell me what he loves about me as he is to tell me what he doesn't... which is a fair trade, if you ask me. If he told me I was sweet and wonderful all the time I'd be rather suspicious.
And no, Mach, I don't think that Mike is cheesecake. For me, he would be... a strawberry crepe.
Listening to Norah Jones and wish I had him here, with me. I am going to try to convince him that he desperately wants to come and see me tomorrow. I doubt that that is the case, but all the same.
He misses me at night.
I miss him all the time.
Sometimes her words come back to me, that odd guestbook entry. Odd in the best of ways, because such a thought would never occur to me. Will my going to school cause me to lose him? Will my keeping him cause me to lose school?
Which, in twenty years, would I most regret losing?
How can I have both?
Things are not as hard as I thought they would be. About Wednesday, I start to feel like I am going to go nuts if i can't touch his hands, his neck, his arms. But then it's Thursday, and the day after that is Friday, which is a good day.
If only I could just stay over there on the weekends.
One day.
The problem with my silly expectations this time is that I know they are silly, and that just about breaks my heart.
astera at 8:48 p.m.