November 3, 2002
You Owe Me Nothing
Insanity abounding, kids, and I'd rather not mention it right now.
You do stupid things. I tell you a thousand times over, you do stupid things. Just don't fall in love, okay? Just don't.
Go read this. I am so super proud of Kels 'cause she is super talented. All those brave NaNoWriMo souls. So I linked Kels twice. Three times.
I am drinking Cherry Coke and listening to Alanis Morissette. Goodness, just love her. She has made it so cool to be a girl.
I need to do my Spanish homework and finish my reading for English, and maybe go over my Political Science presentation again.
I don't think I will, though.
O, goodness. Have I mentioned I have purpose in life, now? Epiphany number four hundred and twelve, perhaps, in my life.
I want to be an English teacher.
I am going to change my major to English-Literature, and when I graduate acquire my teaching certificate. For some reason this just feels like a great big wonderful sigh, like, finally, I have found my place. It seems to me that I was almost sort of weirdly and inadvertently meant for it.
And I will still have time to write!!!
I want my future to be now. But only the future I have in mind.
Argh, how I loathe worrying. Totally off subject.
Should I go and stay with Mike tomorrow night? I made a sort of half-hearted vow to go to all of my classes this week, but you know how those fade. I just always find myself sitting here on Monday nights, feeling sad and desperate and imagining his embrace.
But no sex, dammit. It just keeps getting me into trouble.
Yeah, that vow will likely fade, too.
Someone control me because I can't control myself!
Let's start a de-embittered woman club, shall we?
Even if we get re-embittered in the future.
Why can't I see that happening?
astera at 10:59 p.m.