November 11, 2002
In Memorandum
Today is the first day in a long time that I have just wanted to be a kid again. I feel like Arlo Guthrie with pigtails, and crying.
I woke up this morning to find that Pepe was dead, due to complications with his lamp and its being too hot. I took him out of the tank and kept nudging his head, but it became all too clear that he was not asleep.
I burst into tears, waking my roommate and the friend that had stayed the night. I call my parents, and sit out in the hallway bawling, never mind the hour or my sleeping dormmates.
I feel like a Bob Dylan song only somehow less magnanimous and ten times as trite.
I managed Spanish at eight am, but returned to my dorm afterwards. I emailed my professors. My dad came to get me and I am currently at home, contemplating my room and my bed and the freshly buried turtle in the yard.
I'm such a girl.
He was like a puppy. He was my pet. He never even got to enjoy the new turtle penthouse tank that I got for him.
Dad wants to go out to the pet store today and get me a new one. I don't know how I feel about that.
Pepe seemed doomed to die. I did all that I could.
He was like a puppy. He was my pet.
I just want to stay at home today. I want to curl up in bed and nap and relish the oblivion of sleep. I want to be a kid again... that way Mom and Dad can take care of me and tell me that everything is alright.
I think I am getting sick. Not necessarily of life. Maybe just of this one.
astera at 11:33 a.m.