November 29, 2002
Baggage and Debt
It seems my vacation is one of rampant television watching. I'm suffering from withdrawals, though, seeing as I never have the time on the weekend when I am home and never the access when I have free time during the week.
Watched Sir Authur Conan Doyle's The Lost World. Was 3 hours long. Was wicked good in manner of Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth. Nevermind the fact that the movie starring Jeremy London was nothing at all like the book. We shall see for the Doyle.
Who would've thought that T.S. would get freaky with a savage Center of the Earth woman. Brodie would be proud.
I feel as though I am going to explode with Thanksgiving dinner, and I am not at all happy about it. I've vowed not to eat anything tomorrow, but we all know how that works. I just talk alot of shit when it comes to my diet and/or exercise. I kind of eat whatever I want and the only exercise I partake in is the running I do at work and on campus. Not running, exactly, more like walking swiftly for long, extended periods of time.
I hope my metabolism never slows down.
Last night Mike and I pillaged the countryside at my request. I wish I could have aerial photographs of the two of us, sitting in Kennet's truck stop drinking hot chocolate and fighting the urge to fall asleep. They have phones on the table. The only person I wanted to talk to was already there, though.
I was fourteen years old again in pigtails and the black fleece bucket hat pulled down over my eyes. He could see right through me, though.
All my tears are necessary, even those encouraged by the hormones ravaging my blood stream.
I kissed him, and while I tasted hot sauce he was sure to taste saline. I'm brave enough for his honesty, I am. He can pull out tears so long as he dries them.
He did.
Why am I still upset, then? Not upset so much as eager to see him again so he can distill these residual bad feelings that last night's fervent apologies should have.
He's honest. He's a Scorpio. He still looks at me and his eyes are black and biting but full of love for me.
I don't want to paint this picture for all of you. I don't want to paint this picture for myself. I want to go to sleep. I still know he's wonderful. There is nothing beyond that worth consideration.
astera at 12:04 a.m.