June 13, 2003
Karate Chopstick
Do you know what I hate about having to get up early for work? I do nothing but dream about it all night. And wake up, usually about every hour or two, glancing at the clock and gauging exactly how much time I have left for sleeping.
A troubled sleep.
It is no good for me to have several days off in a row. I get used to lounging about, and then, when I must re-enter the work force, it's like my dream is being snatched away from me. In truth, I didn't want to sleep last night, lest I hasten to bring today.
Mike and I went to Benihana downtown with a bunch of the folk from his work. It's this snazzy little hibachi grill place, and I enjoyed the meal and the antics of the cook (who prepared the meal right in front of us) if I did keep mostly quiet. I suppose I should've talked to Eric's wife, who also knew no one, but she seemed the quiet type, and I wasn't ready to guide a conversation.
Instead, I helped Mike "practice" with his chopsticks (when he wasn't wedging a trio of them in the spaces between his fingers and attempting Wolverine berserker moves), and it must have amounted to some good because the two of us managed the whole meal with only these. Needless to say, I lost a couple of shrimp and the fried rice was a bit of a challenge.
Driving home, we were listening to the Smashing Pumpkins 'Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness', and I must say that it continues to reign as the most awe inspiring album I have heard to date. Listening to Zwan, and hearing Billy Corgan rave about how he is so happy now and the Pumpkins are behind him, I want to beat him with a stick. How can he downplay such gorgeous, moving music?
That album always makes me so pensive. I find myself contemplating sentiment to spout outloud, most of which never makes it to my lips. What of it wouldn't sound foolish and spur of the moment, despite the fact that such things circle in my mind, if only as a rosy smoke, nearly all of the time?
I don't want to be awake. I don't want to be alone today, in the company of co-workers. My heart is aching in its usual fashion: absolutely reasonless.
astera at 7:50 a.m.