July 10, 2001
Journalism and So On
It is so hot I could melt. And I just might, were it not for the genius of Ryan to point out that it would be somewhat difficult to make-out with a puddle.
King of the obvious, that's my boyfriend.
I love Mallrats. Justin and I just finished watching that. Brodie is an absolute riot.
Shannon: "You got something to say?"
Brodie: "Yeah, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand."
Holy shit! It's that asshole from Fashionable Male!
I leave for Boston in a week. I am thrilled beyond belief. A real vacation, just for me. No family, no boring family-related vacation agenda, my first time flying. It's like an adventure. And we know how I enjoy adventures.
I've decided that if I don't like journalism I should be a psychiatrist. And only because I have, in the past few enlightened weeks, discovered the true nature of my elusive mind. Simple things, like my distaste for sports, my reluctance even to try to succeed, are rooted in the innumerable humilations in my childhood when it came to playing them. I mean, it was a big deal when I was little. There was alot I would have given to just be decent, but I was awful. And I was tormented for it. To this day I can't stand to even try, even though I could probably be mediocre if I did. I'm convinced I look ridiculous, I explained to Ryan that I've created a comfort zone for myself, an identity wherein I don't look stupid unless I choose to. I'm artsy. I'm cynical. I'm non-athletic. And I like it that way.
It's much deeper than I can express in words. Or maybe I'm just bullshitting myself.
Probably the bullshit.
I'll leave you witha quote from the delicious book I just finished,Frozen Music, whose main character I indentified more with than any other I've ever read:
"People always did look pleased with themselves when they had a go at journalists. We, together with psychiatrists and lawyers, formed the unholy trinity of our society..."
astera at ugh