August 7, 2001
Coconut Ho's
My life is one big cartoon. Stupid shit happens to me all the time. I tried to explain to Ryan that things happen to us that seem really shitty at the time but make funny stories later. I just wish they would come with more moderation.
So last night I consented to go with him to Coconut Joe's for teen night. Yes, I know, I should be shot for that but I really wanted to spend time with him and dance to shitty R&B. Can you blame me?
Don't answer that.
Ok. So after a harrowing what-the-hell-am-I-going-wear experience Ryan shows up and we drive over to Lindle's to meet the rest of the gang.
Don't I feel like Scooby.
Lindle is still primping (or whatever it is he does behind closed doors, ew...) and we hang out there for about a half-hour. We go to pick up Jadyn. For some strange reason Ryan lets Lindle drive his car. I sit in the back and clutch the upholstery with every ounce of my strength, fearing my impending death at the hands of Lindle. We reach Coconut Joe's (a miracle of God) and we walk all the way from the parking lot to the club (a hike, I can tell you), and we get to the entrance and I realize I have forgotten my I.D. Ryan walks me all the way back up to get it.
"You might get mugged or something." He informs me.
"Actually, I think they might mug one of the skanky girls first." I am compelled to say 'cute', but I'm not fishing for compliments tonight.
He laughs.
"I'm kind of counting on it." I joke.
We get my I.D. We walk all the way back down. The guy at the entrance looks us up and down.
He looks at Ryan.
"Hey, man, I'm really sorry but I can't let you in with those pants on."
Ryan looks down. He has his decrepit Paco jeans on (that's right, the jeans that granted him his nickname). They have gaping holes at the knees.
"We have a really strict dress code here. You can't have any altered clothing. I'm really sorry man."
"You're kidding, right?" Ryan gapes at the guy, but the guy shakes his head.
"The word 'penis' comes to mind." Lindle complains, and Ryan gives an exasperated 'fuck.'
I am silent.
I am thinking that this will make a great story later. Especially for my diary.
But damn were we pissed last night.
astera at pre-work