August 16, 2001

Better Now

I've been emersed in Myst since I checked it out from the library on Monday. So I've been ignoring you, my faithful, adoring audience.

I throw myself at your mercy.

Things are good. Not only am I back to normal, so are things.

Ryan came over last night and we watched Titanic. Now, all of you who are wretching upon reading that can kiss my white ass. I adore that movie. And I'm not all fluffy, Leonardo-DiCaprio-ish in love with it, I love it because I just think it's a beautiful movie. It was brilliantly done, and it turned 1500 faceless victims into real people whose lives were cruelly interrupted. I just cry and cry everytime I watch it.

Ryan held me tighter last night when I did.

And it was his affectionate gestures last night that made things allright. I knew we were okay again. I'm such a cheap date. I love just sitting on a couch in his arms and watching rented movies. It's a comfortable sort of date. It's comfortable period. I feel like we are friends, like we are just being together, instead of "going-out." I feel less plastic.

Am I just retarded?

No, I'm just cheap and easy.

I'll leave that statement open for interpretation.

But you better interpret it the right way.

astera at now

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