September 25, 2001
Pricing Gun Bandit
I have discovered something, and I've been thinking about it all day. And while I will probably not write a relevant entry, I must say it all the same: I have found that the best things in life are most certainly not free. However, they are relatively cheap.
I absolutely adore my job. For some strange reason, I get enjoyment out of a repetitive task. It soothes me to do the same mindless thing over and over. Especially when that mindless thing is handling plastic, be-jeweled tiaras, fuzzy cat's tails, rabbit fur tigers and apes, pirate eye patches, monstrous rubber skeleton gloves...
I cried twice today. Over fucking T.V. I was watching the new episode of That 70's Show and couldn't help but cry at the end when it showed all of the clips of Eric and Donna.
Thought about Ryan.
And then stupid me insisted on watching Kissing a Fool again, even though I know that movie rips me to shreds. Sweet Jason Lee.
Thought about Ryan.
And I think about this weird little legitimate life I have for myself that he is not at all apart of. It is as though what we know, our love, has suspended these few months, that it does not wax or wane, merely holds the strength it had when we parted. I miss him like crazy, but yet can continue on. It's not as though I have any other choice.
Of course, I'm sure he is peachy keen in Texas. Jill Who?
astera at late