October 9, 2001

Life is a Sonnet and I feel Fucking Great

So I got a letter from Ryan today. He said he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said he's met someone else.

And that his name is Steve.

Fooled you!

Really did get a letter from Ryan, whose prose was enough to bring tears to my eyes. And his mother was misinformed. The job he covets is altogether different, one, in his own words, which he chose on the premise that it is offered at Dayton.

O, I want to keep him.

Wonderful birthday. Fantastic birthday. Not only recieved lovely letter from most perfect boy in all the world, also amassed bevy of books from folks; including Shakespeare's sonnets and complete works, biography of Frankie Sinatra, book about mythology and such surrounding the moon, and Bridget Jones' Diary. Hence rather Bridget-esque passage.

Not to mention I got a brand spanking new pair of monkey underwear. It simply does not get any better than this.

Well, it could, but in realistic, grounded terms, it couldn't. I have all that I can logically and currently get my hands on. Can look past hopelessness of present emotional state to a time when it can be better, will be better, can read beautiful letter repeatedly until paper wears thin and tissuey and can find affection in ink. From his own hand.

Oh, joy. I share a sonnet with you, dearest friends, my most favorite and now one I can keep in my room!

Sonnet #29

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Desiring this man's art,and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love rememb'red such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.