February 6, 2002
My Gargantuan Self
In the words of the revered Brodie, Ho-lee shit.
It only too me about three hours and three thousand mistakes. My fingers are now near to numbness by being held prone over the keyboard for so long. But here it is. The brand spanking new design spawned not only from Jillian's creativity, but also from her basic html knowledge! That's right, kids! I did this one all by my lonesome!
Well, almost. Kelsi did have to answer a few questions, let's just say a ball park of three, but I did somehow manage without her being over my shoulder. Rephrase that. Without me being over her shoulder. 'Cause I was generally shy of the keys when it came to sorting through the code.
At any rate, I am super proud of myself, aided or no. The empty space on the older entries page irks me a little, but I can't put another picture in on the other side without shrinking the text table to ridiculous proportions. So, for now, the waste of space stands.
Until anal retentive Jill takes over. That bitch just doesn't give up.
O, and please tell me you all know who this divine pair are?
I'm going to keep those who don't in the dark.
I saw a commercial on television today that really burned my ass.
I was just waiting for an excuse to use that expression.
But anyway. It was something about plus size models, full figured gals should apply. Some 'Visions Modeling' thing or whatever. And they're babbling about how they want 'real' women and such, and then they say 'sizes 10 and over.' Now, without sounding offensive, though I know I probably already do, I am not full figured. Or am I? This commercial is pretty much telling me that I might as well go up just one more size so I can be. I thought fucking size 9 was average. And this commercial is telling me I'm full figured?
I don't even have fucking breasts!
Needless to say, I was pissed. As though I don't already have a complex about the way I look now I have reasons to think I am overweight. Visions Modeling fucking wants me for their plus size ads.
Shoot me. Cut out my tongue.
I apologize to all women everywhere. I am a disgrace to you all. You'd think I was intelligent. Well, you'd be wrong.
God, now I'm going to feel guilty about everything I eat tomorrow.
Anybody ever seen any Renaissance paintings of women? I love those. Most especially the nude ones. And not because I am a lesbian. The womens' breasts aren't huge, and their stomachs are soft. They aren't fat, not at all, but when they sit down, or bend, they have small folds of skin about their waist. That's what I look like. That's what I think normal women look like.
Am I wrong?
Please God say everyone is not a size 3.
So it's Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Couldn't keep you guessing for too long. And besides, I don't want to end my entry with me removing the noose from the closet and fastening it about my neck.
I am so retarded.
astera at 12:02 a.m.