February 7, 2002
Foolish Games (like Tetris)
It's amazing how one brief phone conversation can make my heart break into a thousand pieces and then right itself again. I can't do it, it's not in me. I love him too much to do what is best for me, or what is supposed to be best for me. So it looks like I'm hanging in there until he fucks with me.
Isn't that an awful way to look at it?
In the immortal words of the J.Geil's Band, love stinks.
Still waiting and praying to whomever will listen that the Harrison library calls me. If I don't get a job soon I'm going to go mad. Not that I'm not already there but seriously, kids, my brain is lapsing into a catatonic-like state. I'm drooling and making happy faces with the condiments on my sandwiches.
No, wait. I've always done that.
So I've spent the day curled in my bed re-reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Delightful. It is my favorite, except maybe being tied with the fourth novel.
Like you care.
It's funny. Last night I was crying all over the place and taking his pictures down from my wall. Today I am thinking how foolish that was, because I knew then I'd only be putting them all back up.
astera at 6:29 p.m.