February 22, 2002
University of Shmincinnati
"Why don't you sprinkle some sugar on that ass. I might mistake it for a doughnut and start bitin'."
I totally and absolutely really heard some guy say that to a girl. And I think he was serious.
Now that I am home, nestled before my familiar computer monitor and basking in the glow of the christmas lights, I can truly reflect upon my two and a half days in Kelsi's company and the routine that haunts her at the University of Cincinnati.
Boys smiled at me. Some in passing, and one rather fervently. It was delightful, and I made sure I smiled back. It is a rare occasion that I turn a head.
The indian restaurant was again delicious and again we ended up wobbling away, our stomachs full of chicken and curry and caffeinated beverages. This time we had entertainment, however.
Our waiter, a gentleman of about our age, flirted with me more obviously than anyone ever has in my entire relief. Even in the beginning of our relationship, Ryan was not this forward. Kelsi had ordered something they weren't sure if they still had, so he said he would go and check. Looking at me the entire time of course, with those 'hey baby' eyes. Those are the funniest damn eyes on the planet. At any rate, when he returns to inform us that they do indeed still have Kelsi's dish, who does he look at? Me. Who does he grin stupidly and seductively at? Me.
It wasn't even my food, for the love of all good things.
Needless to say, everytime he left the table Kelsi and I would have to stifle our laughter, meeting eachother's eyes over the hilarity of this boy.
It was great fun. And I was delighted with the attention, however humorous, as I have been feeling hideous and gelatinous of late.
Apparently this guy is attracted to Jabba the Hutt.
The whole reason for my visit was Kelsi's all-hall talent show Thursday night. She won, by the way, first place, so you can go and congratulate her. At any rate, of the six acts that performed, two were entirely disturbing in related ways. One, the lesser of the two evils, was a lewd poem read aloud concerning the first sexual acts of the reader. She could have been subtle. Let's just say she wasn't.
May I just say exorbitant use of the word 'wet'?
The second and by far one of the most awful experiences I have ever had, was listening to some random girl get onstage and sing Britney Spears. Accompanied by obscence dance moves and many gestures to males in the audience. Her voice wasn't too bad, but she was wasting herself on shit like that.
Kels couldn't even watch.
I could barely keep from laughing.
I have to give the girl props for having the biggest balls on the planet, not only for a woman but also for every male, both recently deceased and still living. I would never in a million years, and maybe only for a million dollars, have done such a thing.
I'll leave the creepy computer processor boy story to Kels.
I had a blast.
I can't wait to go to college.
I wish I were given more opportunities to smile at cute boys.
astera at 7:24 p.m.