March 1, 2002
Carnival of Worry
I would rather be reading. But I've got a wicked headache, yet again, and I figured I might as well not agitate it further.
I feel like shit today. Probably some random effect of the rag that I'm not on. My hormones are psychotic.
Everyone is in love. I am not in love. For the first time today I missed it. But not with him. It hasn't even been a month, and already the libran in me is calling out for some new lover to satiate her thirst.
That lusty bitch.
I remember the smiles passed between two people. I always loved those smiles best of all the things.
So much honesty in so simple a gesture.
And I swear I am going to be sick with worry over school. It's gotten to the point where I'm ready to ask my parents to drive me out to Ohio University. That way I can go into the Registrar's office, get my letter of withdrawal, and drive the three hours back home and the extra forty minutes to Miami and hand deliver it.
I'm just waiting for something else to go wrong.
I know I'll call the Miami admissions office on Monday and one of two things will be relayed to me.
a) They have not yet recieved the letter from Ohio University. Which can lead me to believe only that it was never sent, for that will be nearly two weeks and Ohio's mail system isn't quite that bad. Which means this whole process will start all over again.
2) They did recieve it, and it isn't what they wanted.
The option of everything being okay has yet to surface in my tortured mind. There is no okay where these fucking universities are concerned.
I just want to go to college. Why is this so difficult?
Excuse me while I go worry about the cake I ate earlier.
Too.
astera at 5:28 p.m.