May 17, 2001

Sorrow

I wrote a poem that sums up the desolation of my day. Yes, I did receive a thousand-dollar scholarship (which I am very proud of, unlike some others whose blood I share who are to upset about my "nonconformity" and my clinging boyfriend to really be happy for me), but this is overshadowed by my sadness, by their completely uncalled for disappointment. So here is the poem.

making it easy to leave

masochism
finding liberation in pain
that sweet temptress of heartbreak
of being found and lost again
or found and simply forgotten
i would place today on a shelf
let it gather dust
let it become dust
i would erase all that i am
if it would mean you would love me for what i was