May 25, 2001
One is the lonliest number...
I've come to a final and disheartening conclusion. I have no friends. Really. It's true.
So it's Friday night and whereas Ryan would usually be working, he has called in. Ryan, the chief occupation of my time, calls me at quarter after four. Does he ask me if I would like to occupy his now free evening? No. Tells me I should call him tomorrow so he can come and have lunch with me at work. Hangs up. One down.
I pace the desolate hall (we only have one) of my home for ten minutes. Proceed to call Jenny, whom I whine at but to no avail because she has to work tonight and even if she didn't we would just be awkward around eachother because that's how we've been for too long. Two down.
I call Mallory, who was apparently in the middle of a fight with her parents. I hear distinctly in her voice:
"I can't even stand to be in the same room with you. You disgust me."
A milisecond later: "I was just getting ready to leave with Jennifer to go shopping since there isn't anything else to do. You didn't want to do anything, did you?"
Me: "Oh, no...I just called to harass you."
Mal: "Oh, okay. I'll call you if I get home early enough."
Three down.
I call Jody, who I actually not only want to but should spend time with, but she has the band banquet tonight. And she's dipping out of that early to go and make-out with Eric and/or go to the movies and see Pearl Harbor. She, however, did exhibit legitimate pity for my situation. Four down.
I call Bill. She is not even home (nor is her mother whom I must speak with about programming for the Day Camp!). Five down.
And now I'm back to Number One, whose house I call in a last ditch effort even though I know we won't do anything because if I go out with Ryan tonight I wouldn't be allowed to go out with him tomorrow. Not that I would go out. It would be more like Go Over. As in to his house.
He also is not home. Joke told me he went to go rent some movies. Fifteen minutes later he calls me back, and I extoll to him my story of woe. He says I can come over and watch movies with him and his sisters if I desire, but we both know what that means (see previous paragraph). Am now awaiting arrival of my father to plead my case. But I already know he will say no.
So that's it. I have no friends. I have no social life. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I did.The highlight of my evening has been doing the dishes. And I started thinking that all the times that I do go out it's with Ryan, but before Ryan I didn't go out at all. I'm pathetic. I'm also miserable and whiny and dejected and strange. I need therapy. Or maybe just some alcohol.
astera at who cares