June 2, 2001
Resolution
The name of the pilot duck on Duck Tales is Launchpad. It took Lindle, Hampton, Ryan, and I three hours to figure that out. So I thought I'd share our wealth of knowledge.
Things have cooled considerably in my house, though just two days ago my immediate circle of friends feared for my sanity. It has to come to your parents nearly throwing you out of your house to realize just how many people care about you.
We're trying not to fight, now, though. I'm compromising, they're not commenting, it's a good system. I can breathe again.
I went to Ryan's graduation party today, though I came home early. I like his family just fine, but they can be kind of Georgia overwhelming, if you know what I mean. The Heitkamps, when condensed, are often just too much for anti-social me.
So I came home and cut the roses Ryan gave me to fit into a vase. There are twelve of them, red, velvety, puckered like mouths. I love flowers. Today is our six-month anniversary, and on top of my not being really about the whole celebratory thing, I didn't anticipate him getting me anything, anyway. But he did. I was good by him on Thursday, when he made me cry.
We went to the choir seniors dinner with Mr. Carlisle, and when it was over it was only about nine o'clock and I was infinitely less than ready to return to my home. As we were driving, I was getting all contemplative and morose, and something compelled me to ask Ryan why he liked me. The whole affair with Mom and Dad was making me think I didn't have any appealing attributes, so I had been wondering more than late what he saw in me.
And he answered me immediately, no dawdling, as if it were obvious.
"Because you're not fake. No one wonders where you stand, you're just you and you're comfortable with that."
I started to cry, and he held my hand. By then I was less than ready to go home, so Ryan parked at Golf View (even though I told him I didn't want to make-out) and then he just put his arms around me and held me until ten o'clock.
My life has been sort of crazy lately, I apologize for the incoherence of my entries. I haven't been sleeping a whole lot and chances are I won't sleep for a good few days. Maybe mid-June. I'm so busy! Summer is supposed to be an excess of laziness!
But I like busy. Especially when I'm around the people I love.
astera at wallah wallah