October 5, 2001
Argh Petey the Pirate
Ok, how fucking long does it take for a letter to get from fucking Texas to Ohio? A fucking week? More, it seems, now. Damn lazy postal workers.
Disclaimer: to any of you who are postal workers, or are related to postal workers, or have ever in your life encountered a postal worker, I apologize profusely. I am grieved by the sheer audacity of my character, my rude and uncouth personality.
Yep, that's me.
It has been a good day. I was made aware of the true definition of the word propensity, which I have apparently been using inappropriately for the past four or so years wherein I learned it and unlearned it and made up my own meaning for it. Apparently, it means an inclination to, a penchant for. Ben called me on it when I said it, and after a harassment of the rest of our coworkers he emerged the victor.
What can we say about Ben? Not only is he smart, he's a stud. At least that is what he says about himself. When he talks.
I miss being comfortable. The release that was a night curled on his couch, my head pressed against his chest, his arms about me. My nose filled with the intoxicating smell of him, my ears with the drum of his heart. I could never date anyone else, because it wouldn't be the casual romance that my relationship with Ryan is. It kills me to be without that. And how long it will be until I can. Could I ever experience that with another person? Is it even possible?
I don't think so.
"Someone
Stop my hands from shaking
Iron in my spine's conducting lightning
Raging anger,
Yeah, you've never been truly mine,
But if you were, yes, if you were, I wouldn't want you anyway..."
Ah, the glories of Splashdown. It makes my life almost seem worth living. That, and the fact that I have a bad ass halloween costume.
astera at klingonee