February 13, 2002
Bullet in the Head
Can't go Orlando browsing tonight 'cause bastard Morpheus about gives my computer a hernia. And Aol is not too fond of it, either.
Well, I'm not too fucking fond of Aol so there.
If I use the word 'fuck' repeatedly, please excuse me. I'm listening to Rage Against the Machine. One really can't control onself in such musical environs.
So I had a totally weird dream last night, too. I went to college, only it was really bizarre. The bathrooms were way gross and the dorms were like welfare apartments.
Hey, it was Ohio University!
But seriously. I was walking around inside this building ('college') in my pajamas. And they were kind of skanky. But all the other girls were walking around in skanky pajamas, too. And I was super paranoid 'cause I needed to shave my legs.
No, wait, that's reality.
It was weird. What happened to dreaming about cool things? Like, kissing and ponies?
When I say ponies I of course mean...
Shetlands!
I don't think anybody is going to think that is funny but me.
Gotta get it gotta get it together then, like the mother fuckin' weathermen...
Talked to the resident texan today. The bastard is going to see Linkin Park this weekend. I told him he'd better take pictures for me or I'll never speak to him again. Hopefully they're of Chester.
It's so cute when he he goes "Ooo, guess what I'm doing this weekend?" It's like he's five. Or picking up my habits.
It amazes me how I have gotten used to him being away. I only cry about him when I am angry that he hasn't called, or something else equally trivial. The fact that he is away is practically beyond my normal range of emotion. Not that I'd say my range of emotion is normal.
I honestly don't know how I do it.
Sometimes though, when I'm lying in bed, I remember what it was like to be held.
Touch. I miss that most.
astera at 11:32 p.m.