March 27, 2002

Zack and Rampant Animal Sex

Pretty shitty night tonight, kids.

Three of my coworkers gave me shit, two in a rather legitimate way. Mary, one of the servers, who I really like, snapped at me about helping clean one of her tables, and I was so shocked I could hardly speak. I'm way too sensitive, I felt like crying. Usually she is so cool. I guess I caught her at a bad moment.

And then Becky, one of my fellow hostesses, proved herself a bitch this evening. I admit I might have been acting stupidly, but that doesn't give her any right to mock me. We keep toothpicks on the hostess counter, and I went to refill the little bin they are in. Usually they're all lined up perfectly in two rows, and having never done it before, I wondered if it was some way you opened the toothpick box and emptied them. So I started to ask how it was done and then stopped myself, figuring I'd wing it, but she still went ahead and said "You use your hand and take them out." She said in such a nasty voice, and I just gave her the best 'fuck you' look I could. Considering my mood, it was likely not nearly as potent as I would've wished it.

See, I'm not mean, as much as I like to jest that I am. I honestly can't think of too many instances where I've said anything remotely malicious to anyone. I'm nice to everyone, and I usually just ignore people when they are nasty to me. Becky, however, is approaching that point where I am about to tell her to fuck off. I'm not meek. I'd like to think that I'm forgiving.

Rage Against the Machine is fucking awesome. I'm listening to 'Born of a Broken Man' on The Battle of Los Angeles, and the lyrics are just so wicked I can't stand it. I idolize Zack de la Rocha, and before he ascended to his current rather grisly state, I totally would've slept with him. He was one of my five. It's like, if you meet them, you have to have sex with them. You may never again get the chance, so morals must fly to the wind. This is a stone cold virgin speaking here.

I wonder if I really would? I so know I wouldn't. Unless it were Orlando Bloom. I'd have to have sex with him twice.

Watched Greg the Bunny today. It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, but I still liked it. I won't give up on it yet. I wish I had Wednesday nights off. Then I wouldn't miss That 80's Show.

It's a sad thing when you realize that there isn't really much to your life outside of work and television.

I'm going to go pillage the internet in a numbing fest before I start getting too negative. I'm ripe for it after tonight.

Like autumn leaves
His sense fell from him
An empty glass of himself
Shatter somewhere within
His thoughts like a hundred moths
Trapped in a lampshade
Somewhere within
Their wings banging and burning
On through endless nights
Forever awake he lies shaking and starving
Praying for someone to turn off the light

--Zack de la Rocha, excerpt from 'Born of a Broken Man'