June 12, 2002
Angel Ian
Dammit. Dammit Dammit Dammit.
He would've kissed me. He so would've. Except, of course, for the fact that my brother and his stupid friend pulled in right behind us as we were wrapping up our conversation in the parking lot outside my house. I was pissed. At any rate, I wasn't having any of it. When Justin had finally left (not without walking up to the car and shaking Ian's hand and being generally obnoxious), I turned to Ian and said, "I'm kissing you on the cheek whether you like it or not."
a) So surprised that this was actually said to a boy of so short acquaintence, though it feels like we've known eachother half of our lives.
2) was delighted with smile and accompanying response of, "I think I might like that."
So, am dating extraordinaire, Bridget-Jones style.
So not.
He is just the coolest. I cannot get over him. And it's not the usual sort of affection I feel for someone, or that total burning loins lust shit. It's not like that at all. He's interesting. For instance, tonight we went and saw Dirty Blonde, a play about Mae West. And we're both sitting in the audience cracking up. Afterwards we are walking around Mt. Adams, and then we get coffee at about ten. We situate ourselves on a comfy little bench by some hedges and a fountain.
Suddenly it is ten after twelve. We've been sitting there for over two hours, talking about everything from my conspiracy theories to his little brothers (he is a mentor, not a sibling) to urinals and the girl herd mentality to benevolent capitalism to our nerdy childhoods and our horrible rejections at the hands of the opposite sex. That and everything I've forgotten and everything in between. I don't talk to anybody like that, no one but Kelsi. And she is my best friend. And I've known her for seven-going-on-eight years.
It is the friends thing that is the coolest. I am not into into him, though I am, quite obviously, attracted to and interested in him. I want to keep him around because he is awesome, and not because I am deeply concerned about having a romantic relationship with him. And not that I don't want that. It would be great. We are more than headed that direction. But it seems to be something that will be easily transitional, as in, you are here and we get along fantastically, and I want to take advantage of that because you're cute and kind and intelligent. It doesn't mean committment, or obligation or fear or worry. He is leaving for London in three weeks. We're just having fun until he does.
And he is fun. He is amazing fun. He is intellectual fun, which has been a relatively empty chamber in my life experience. My parents aren't very cultured (thought they are intelligent), and Kelsi and I can neither afford nor really drive anywhere worthwhile. Ian takes me to plays and nifty indie movies. And then we have amazing conversations for hours afterwards.
I am a lucky girl to have such amazing people in my life. And I'm not just talking about him.
Meanwhile back in non-reverie land, my eyes are starting to wig out. I've been up for roughly twenty hours, so I think I should go to bed. Like, six hours ago.
astera at 1:48 a.m.