October 23, 2002
Ok Go
There is nothing sweeter than stirring in the middle of the night only to find yourself being snuggled up to, and an arm slipping round your waist and clasping your hand.
Except, maybe, for falling back to sleep in that position.
He woke before me in the morning and I heard him rustling about. I enter the kitchen.
"Good morning. Would you like some marshmallows and stars?"
I'll take the stars, thankyou, those few that we drew down last night to tuck between your sheets and keep us warm.
Enough of the fluff. I read her today and remembered that I used to be funny. At least a little. I sigh for the loss of the days of yore... what exactly is 'yore'?
Nevermind. You get the idea.
Mike and I went grocery shopping. He managed to spend forty dollars at Big Lots, a feat I thought was not physically or financially possible. But he got the cutest little four-cup Mr. Coffee for ten dollars... I so want one. Then I can make tea and coffee in my dorm room. How much grown up fun would that be?
I want to buy dishes. I want a house so I can fill it up with stuff.
He informed me of my future when we in Aldi. We were speaking of children, and then suddenly what ours would be like, and he stopped.
"Who is to say we are going to have kids." He sniffs. "In about three years, you'll get rid of me and marry some rich guy."
"Why is that?"
"'Cause that's what you'll want after being with someone so cheap."
"Is he cute?"
Mike shakes his head.
"Well, what's he like?"
"He's a computer programmer, with lots of money. His name is Herbert."
"Does he have a good personality?"
"No. He doesn't really pay much attention to you. But you have a nice big house."
I sigh.
"I suppose I will have to resign myself to my fate."
But, I suppose the Queen of the World cannot really hope to marry her Princess, now, can she?
We decided that I am merely an iconic figure, and he, as Princess, makes all the real decisions seeing as I am also the Queen of Indecision.
But I'm still in charge.
And I can cut off his head at any time if he really displeases me.
Either, for that matter.
Though, I promised I would never go Lorena Bobbit on him. Clearly, she went about it all wrong. You have to hide it so they can't sew it back on.
As long as I remain Bitch Number One, Mike is in the clear. At present, I hold the top spot, with the computer pulling in at a close second as Bitch Number Two. That's it's actual name, as in it asks you 'Would you like to shut down Bitch Number Two now?'
Bitch Number Three is the girlfriend he bought at the dollar store. He hasn't blown her up yet.
Bitches Number Four and Five were walking down the street today, and he spared their lives so they might join his harem.
I never thought I'd meet someone as half-retarded and utterly adorable as he is. It's like waking up, shaking your head, blinking and grinning. You thought your dream was good. Well, welcome to the real world.
And he may not like your parents, but he sure as hell loves you.
astera at 12:14 a.m.