December 27, 2002
Two Not One
We yelled and we stomped about and I cried and he kneaded his fingers into his brow and I cried some more and we stopped yelling and I curled up on the bathroom floor at his knees and we wondered why we were fighting and I knew and he knew but there was nothing we could do about it and he lifted me up and put his arms around me and I said stupid things and he walked away and he came back and I didn't apologize so much as explain and we made tea and we played Halo and I kissed him and he met my lips with something desperate and we made love in his bed and talked for two hours about Ghostbusters and my parents and hopelessness and then he kissed me and we made love again day after Christmas sex and showered and tickled and blew raspberries and forgot about yelling and wished things were always right and giggled about Kevin and the radio and questionable noise and ventured outside at one-thirty a.m. and clutched at eachother on the icy driveway and nearly fell and kissed and laughed and I-Love-You'd and meant it and that's all that matters, isn't it all that matters even when it is all falling on me always on me so small and so weak and they put me in the middle and don't see it and want me to do what I haven't the heart to do but he laughs with me you see and we laugh and things are better than they've ever been and I'm willing with him willing to do almost anything because he's worth it and I'm not just anybody and he didn't want to fall in love but he did anyway because there was something about me something about me same as there was something about him something about him and it's real, okay?
I feel like Bridget Jones. I feel like you.
I'm dumb and in love and possibly pregnant.
astera at 12:53 p.m.